Friday, December 25, 2009

John 1:14

 "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us,
 and we beheld His glory, as the only begotten of the Father,
 full of grace and truth"                   John  1:14

Thank you, Father, for sending your beloved Son to save us.

Monday, November 23, 2009

A Prayer of Abandonment

I abandon myself into Your hands;
Do with me as You will.
For whatever You do I thank You.
I am ready for all, I accept all.
Let only your will be done in me,
as in all Your creatures.
I ask nothing else My Lord.
Into Your hands I commend my soul;
I give it to You with the love of my heart,
for I love You and so need to give myself -
to surrender myself into Your hands,
with a trust beyond all measure,
because You are my Father.
           Brother Charles of Jesus

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The universe in her eyes

the grass
cushioned her body
cradled her head
in loving arms
the sky gathered
her in...beckoning
the stars gleamed
in her eyes
windows of a soul
lost in the beauty
of creation

Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Weeping Rose

Hiding behind my fig leaf
Cowering in the shame of Eve
I, too, consumed fruit forbidden
Sweet to the lips, bitter to the soul
And mourned outside Eden's gates
An earthen vessel, Adam's seed
Lost in the dust of time
A rose wilted  for lack of the Son
"Where are you?" echoed in my soul

At the faintest "here i am"
A broken arrow, a crooked bow
Stood before the Mercy Seat
Unbathed, covered with grime
Unrecognizable to all but you
Your eyes pierced through the filth
And saw the swan in the ugly duckling
You tucked my heart into your side
Two hearts beat as one
And in this Divine chamber
A weeping rose unfurled her first petal

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Shadow Girl, may you rest in peace

the gates of never-never land
you entered a broken reed
fallow the field of your youth
no seed of love sown therein
like a deck of cards
shuffled from house to house
where many skeletons lived
in dark cellar closets hidden
home a word you never knew
a tiny dancer lost in shadows
don't snap my wings you cried
i cried
if you hug me I will break
shattered you were, in pieces
too many cracks had weakened
the whole and you leaked  throughout
a broken ship listing skyward
a fragile bird, prey for hawks
and other scavengers of the night
look both ways before you cross
too young i could not lead
with a shuttered heart
you could not follow

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Abba's House

There is a place
For which we long
A house of Love
Where all belong

T'were not mentioned
T'would be remiss
In this land of peace
Truth and Justice kiss

The lion and the lamb
Lay side by side
In verdant meadows
Love and joy abide

 Home we are called
A name we are given
By the Father's Hand
Upon our hearts written

A fountain of life
Where love pours out
There are many mansions
In my Father's house

Monday, September 14, 2009


You Are
A bottomless well
I plumb your depths
Great the sea of Thy
Awash  in waves of Thy
My tears mingling
With the rain of Thy
No beginning, no ending
Am humbled by Your

Thursday, September 3, 2009

A Divine wink

" I have had a tremor of bliss, a wink of heaven, a whisper,
And I will no longer be denied; all things
Proceed to a joyful consummation."
T.S. Elliot

My Lord and my God, may the seed that you have planted in me continue to grow until it becomes a tree of life that bears the fruit of eternity. Thank you for the small glimpses of heaven that you have given me. Utterly Thine, O Lord!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Heart speak

I love poetry. I call it " heart speak". Often a poem can speak volumes with few words. Truth abounds in poetry. Here is one I enjoy for the truth it speaks:

If thou couldst empty all thyself of self,
Like to a shell dishabited
Then might He find thee on the ocean shelf
And say:"This is not dead,"
And fill thee with Himself instead
But thou art all replete with very thou
And hast such shrewd activity
That when He comes He says:"This is enow
Unto itself: 'Twere better let it be
It is so small and full, there is no room for Me."
-T.E. Brown

The more we empty ourselves, the more He fills us. If I did not own a thing on this earth....
I would still have Him. And if I have Him - I have everything.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

A thread of light

Blankets of soft memories
Float around my head
Settling where they will
Cushioning those old hurts
Lying on their concrete bed of mourning
I lift my hand to catch one
But it passes through my fingers
A thread of light
Weaving a promise in the shadows

Utterly Thine O Lord

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Ebb Tide

Before my conversion my faith was almost non-existent. I rarely went to church. This left many doors open to the evil one and he certainly used them. As the saying goes " The devil is like a chained dog; he can only bite if you get too close." Well, I got too close and was bitten many times.

They debark in waves
You surf on your bed of deceit
You ride swiftly to your goal
Leaving nothing in your wake
But streams of lies
And puddles of despair
With cunning,
You lie in wait
For the next break

Thank you, Lord for healing my many wounds.

Friday, August 7, 2009


There came a point in time when my writing took on a new tone. The Lord started calling me . Sometimes I would write down whatever came into my heart:

Do you know I AM WHO AM

Question Me and believe

I love you, little flower

Come see the Son

Open up

Love is here

Another time what came out was this:

Walk in the light my little ones. Enter the kingdom of justice and love. Enter my beating heart and come into the light of my Glory. O, the goodness and love of Pure Holiness.

This happened many times. Maybe it was a small preview of what was to come. Maybe it was to prepare me for what was coming next [my conversion]. I don't really know. The Lord works in unusual ways and calls each person differently. His love for each one of us is immense and no one should doubt this. This is where faith comes in. Even if we do not feel His love at faith we know it is there.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


Bits and pieces of life
Wrapped in a confusion of scars
Untangled by the brevity of my pen
Set to rest
Black wounds in a bed of white

Monday, August 3, 2009

God alone

Loving Father,

This is my prayer. May your Divine Will live in me and all my brothers and sisters in this world. May you open our ears to your Word and may this Word dwell richly within us. Open all hearts, that all may look upon your beloved Son and accept His Divine Mercy.


Sunday, August 2, 2009


When I was a teenager I lost my faith in God. My family went through such terrible times that I lived in a state of constant fear. This state of fear pervaded my life until my conversion. I was so afraid of God the Father that I would only pray to His son, Jesus or to Mother Mary. Shortly after my conversion the Lord gave me an odd dream; in this dream he showed me that I was so wounded by the lack of a strong father figure [though my father lived with us, he was very ill and suffered from deep depression] and that I was projecting this image onto Our Heavenly Father. He has healed this wound so completely that I now have a very close relationship with Him. He has also given me compassion and a deep love for my earthly father. Though I knew in my head that that the Holy Trinity is One God, this knowledge only reached my heart after this healing.

Thank you, Father, for this healing.

Friday, July 31, 2009

The grace of today

I used to constantly dwell on the past or worry about the future. I did not trust in the Lord enough to place my life in His gentle hands. Here is a poem I wrote about forgetting to live in the present.

Tripping down the path of time
I stumbled into yesterday's graveyard
Buried broken dreams in her scarred belly
Watered her ancient soil with my sorrow
Forgetting today in my haste
I tumbled forward into tomorrow

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

A strong word

I am writing this word on all my blogs because it resonates so powerfully within me. God is calling us " out of Babylon " [worldliness] and He is leading us "out of Egypt." Please read Hosea 11:1, Rev.18:1-8, and Jer.50:8. I even named one of my blogs " Out of Babylon ", because of this word. This word has been confimed to me many times [ by dreams, family members and other bloggers.] So, please, let us follow the leading of the Holy Spirit and place our trust in the mercy of God during this period of time when The Lord is pouring out His graces on those who will accept them. Let us pray for our brothers and sisters who have not yet turned to the Lord. May we learn to totally abandon ourselves to His Will.

"Amen, I say to you, whoever does not accept the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it." Luke 18:17

Sunday, June 28, 2009

"God grins"

I thought I'd lighten things up today, I want to talk about something I call "God grins" [these are little perks the Lord sends our way simply because he loves us.] Some I call "holy cheats" and I have gotten a lot of these. A holy cheat is when God gives you a freebie [like when you let your young child win a game because she doesn't really understand the rules.]

I always start my Christmas shopping in October because I like to be done before the stores get too busy. This past year I decided to cut back on spending and I told the Lord I was going to leave Christmas to Him this time. That very month I started getting gift cards in the mail. I was literally bombarded with them. My birthday is in October and a bunch of stores sent me gift certificates so I shopped all month for free. One day I got a Macy's card in the mail, it said Shhh-Its a secret and it said to bring the card into the store and you could win $10, $20, $50 or even $500 dollars. I pulled into the parking lot, looked up and snickered at the Lord "Ahh,Lord I won't ask this of you" [He can read my mind so there was no use pretending that I didn't want the $500 dollar card. God grinned back at me and instantly I knew I had the $500 card. So ...I went into the store and tried to look surprised when they scanned it and told me it was the $500 winner. Oh, and by the way I got one from JC Penny too [for $15] and on October 13th when I went in to spend it the clerk who signed my receipt was named Fatima. Coincidence? Maybe.
But I call them "God grins." THANK YOU, LORD.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The pit

Years ago I had a terrible nightmare, I was sludging around in the muck of hell and there were demons surrounding me. I think God was warning me about the state of my soul [I had other nightmares similar to this.] This is what I wrote about it.

Alone in this pit
I stood
staring at the walls.
Was there no way out?
not then, it seemed.
I tried once
but slipped on self-pity.
So, I stayed and lived on sour grapes
for a long, long time.
One night they came for me,
demons of grief and despair.
But I hid in the corner of my mind
and fooled them all,
or so I thought
till I heard them laughing at me.
Was there no escape?
I tried again
would have made it that time
but bitterness grinned down at me
settled his weight on my shoulders
I fell hard that time
I tried to crawl away but
got tangled up in the arms of defeat
and lay there , right next to fear.
Breathed his foul scent
while he mocked me with
my own weakness.
I raised my head and saw
Hope reaching out to me
I placed my hand in His iron grip
and He never, ever let go.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Holding my Fathers hand

I decided to write this blog because I know alot of people are struggling with sin in their lives and I thought that writing about my journey from a state of dis-grace to a state of grace may be of help to others who may be in a state of mortal sin. When I was younger I used to keep a journal as a way of releasing some of the pain inside me. The suffering I felt was immense because spiritually I was wallowing in the muck of hell. But God the Father loves us immensely and never gave up on me. Calling me by name He drew me up from the pit and holding His Hand I will tell you our story.

When I was child I always felt God's presence in my life, I used to pretend to be a martyr for the Eucharist like Saint Tarcisius who was one of my favorite saints. I loved Blessed Kateri and I would read my favorite poem about her constantly. I went to a Catholic school and loved learning about God. My problems didn't start until I was a teenager in a troubled household. I stopped going to confession and the sin in my life began to snowball. I became afraid of God the Father and hid my face from Him. I was also angry at Him because I blamed Him for the ugliness of the world. I fell deeper and deeper into sin and that's when I started my journal.Tomorrow I will write one of the entries in my journal , I was young when I wrote it but it shows the grave state of my soul.