Saturday, June 20, 2009

Holding my Fathers hand

I decided to write this blog because I know alot of people are struggling with sin in their lives and I thought that writing about my journey from a state of dis-grace to a state of grace may be of help to others who may be in a state of mortal sin. When I was younger I used to keep a journal as a way of releasing some of the pain inside me. The suffering I felt was immense because spiritually I was wallowing in the muck of hell. But God the Father loves us immensely and never gave up on me. Calling me by name He drew me up from the pit and holding His Hand I will tell you our story.

When I was child I always felt God's presence in my life, I used to pretend to be a martyr for the Eucharist like Saint Tarcisius who was one of my favorite saints. I loved Blessed Kateri and I would read my favorite poem about her constantly. I went to a Catholic school and loved learning about God. My problems didn't start until I was a teenager in a troubled household. I stopped going to confession and the sin in my life began to snowball. I became afraid of God the Father and hid my face from Him. I was also angry at Him because I blamed Him for the ugliness of the world. I fell deeper and deeper into sin and that's when I started my journal.Tomorrow I will write one of the entries in my journal , I was young when I wrote it but it shows the grave state of my soul.

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